What he wants

“Here it goes. I can feel it kicking in.” John said as he felt his lips beginning to go numb. He was so tired of being tired. All he wanted to do was live a normal life without any pain. He wanted all of his pain to go away, his physical pain, his emotional pain, all of it. He was so sick of fighting with his wife and his kids not listening to him when he told them to do something. What went wrong in his life that he deserved this type of situation? He was raised in a good Catholic home with morals and ethics, he had always been taught to treat a woman with respect and he did exactly that for the past 17 years of his marriage.
“I think that my wife is the devil, she has to be, why else would she treat me like a pile of crap?” he asked rhetorically as he looked at his 8-ball of cocaine. As he rolled the dollar bill up he made two more lines to snort. As the cocaine went up his nose he could feel his pain going away. He put the dollar bill on the mirror with the cocaine and sat back and relaxed as he felt the drop in the back of his throat. He grabbed a cigarette out of his crumpled pack, lit it, and enjoyed the feeling of no pain. What he had wanted was finally gone, for awhile anyways, he had no pain physically or mentally.

A hectic morning

I could feel a chill in the air as I walked towards the bank on my way to work. The wind picked up and the clouds were rolling in as fast as I had ever seen in the month of August. Clouds and wind are extremely uncommon this time of year in California. I had a feeling that I should not go into the bank but I needed to make a deposit in my account before I had overdraft charges. As I walked into the bank I could cut the tension in the air with a knife, a butter knife at that. Automatically, my heart started pounding so hard I just knew that everyone could hear it. As I approached the teller desk a man came from behind, wrapped his arm around my neck, and shoved a gun into my side. As I froze in terror he told me to do as he said or he would kill me. I tried to look around to see who all was in the bank, I saw a senior citizen couple, a mother and her young child, and several business men. When I saw the mother and her young child I knew that I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. In an instant I remembered the defensive training course I completed just over two years ago. I never thought I would actually have to use it. This was the perfect time to use what I had been taught. I went on the offense quickly without giving the bank robber a chance to think. I grabbed his arm that was around my neck and bit on it as hard as I could causing his automatic reaction to let go of me and check his arm. I was not about to stop now. I was so full of adrenaline I kept pulling every move I knew. The more I attacked him the more people were helping me to contain him until the police arrived. When the police arrived and were able to apprehend the criminal my body was completely drained of any and all energy. I was so ready to go home. I contacted my boss and let her know what happened and that I was not going to be in today. She told me to go home, get some rest and she would see me on Monday.

John's belongings

· Soft pack of Marlboro Red’s with two cigarettes left, one half smoked already.
· Black Bic lighter almost out of fluid but still has enough for one more light.
· Cell phone to receive secret messages.
· Full package mint flavored Tic-Tacs for that fresh breath.
· Lottery ticket with the same losing numbers he has tried every week for the past five years.
· Wallet filled with pictures of kids and $2.00 in cash.
· Black ball-point pen in back pocket that has leaked all on back of his jeans.
· Package of Zig-Zags, unopened.

Tanji's background

Name: Tanji
Nickname: LouLou
Sex: Female
Age: 26
Looks: long brown hair, still has some baby fat from having a baby one year earlier.
Education: Graduated from high school but later dropped out of college
Vocation: Works for local cellular phone company
Status/money: Makes just enough to support herself and her two kids.
relationship: divorced but found true love with John.
family/ethnicity: Caucasian, has older brother, parents have been married 35 years
Places: dreams of going to Ireland
Possessions: Not much, just an apartment and a car, which her parents pay for.
Recreation/hobbies: doesn’t have a lot of free time for this but does enjoy going to car races at the local track.
Obsessions: Absolutely loves Johnny Depp and all of his films
Beliefs: everyone deserves a second chance
Politics: Total republican
Sexual history: a busy one that she is not proud of.
Ambitions: would love to be a Labor and Delivery Nurse someday
Religion: Christian
Superstitions: none
Fears: fear of failure, losing family
Attitudes: fairly laid back, but stay out of her way when she is mad, the Irish comes out in her.
Character flaws: Tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt even if she knows that she shouldn’t. She can be way to trusting.
Character strengths: When she is with someone romantically or on a friend basis she is extremely loyal and would do anything for that person. She absolutely adores her children.
Pets: One annoying Chihuahua named Snoopy.
Taste in books/music: Spanish music and old rock and roll. Loves to read books about fights in the spiritual realm between good and evil.
Journal entries: never been big on journals, she thinks that she doesn’t have enough time.
Handwriting: somewhat large and very neat, leans slightly to the right.
Astrological sign: Pisces, and is so a perfect example of a Pisces.
Talents: very musically inclined. Loves to listen to all types of music. Enjoys playing the flute and the piano.
Friends: only has a few close friends, prefers a small group that a large amount of friends.
Relatives: Adopted when an infant, just recently met her birth mother, has older brother.
Enemies: keeps them closer than her friends.
As seen by others: as a bitch by people that do not know her, to the ones that do she is honest, warm, and has a good sense of humor.
As seen by self: overweight, not worthy of anyone loving her
Scars: One on back of head from falling of bleachers at a baseball game when she was a toddler. One on knee from falling on a nail in elementary school.
Tattoos, piercings: One tattoo on her hip that she got in high school during her crazy days. She has her ears pierced twice and a tongue ring.
Salary: 25,000/yr

action

Not long after the New Year Tanji is sitting at home with John and her children and loving the time that they are able to spend together. She has never been so happy with someone as she is with John. She knew that her Mr. Wright was out there she just hadn’t found him yet. Now, as she sits in her living room watching John play with her children everything seems perfect, and then the phone rings. She looks at the caller i.d. and then looks at John. He knows what that look means, Stephanie is calling.

“Hello,” Tanji answers somewhat hesitantly.

“Tanji, this is Stephanie. We need to talk now about what is going on.” Stephanie said.

“Yea we do. You go first.” Tanji suggested.

“How can you do this to me?! You are supposed to be my best friend and you go behind my back and have an affair with my husband? How low of a person are you to do something like this. I never did anything to you for you to treat me like this. I have always been there for you and you know that. I was with you when you and Chris split and when you had Matthew. I have been nothing but a good and true friend to you. How do you repay me? You decide to have an affair with my husband.” Stephanie is beginning to cry and has to put the phone down at one point to regain her composure.

“First, I did not do this to you! YOU brought this on yourself. You are the one that was out whoring around at lunch time with anyone and everyone that would take you. I was the one that would cover for you while you went and turned your tricks for free. Come to think of it, you have been acting like a free whore the whole time I have known you. Man, you must be so proud of yourself making sure that all the men at work had their sexual needs met. What were you doing for John during this time? Absolutely nothing!! John did everything for you in your marriage and you cannot appreciate that. Yea he is not able to work outside the home due to his recent back surgery but he did everything else around the house. When you would come home your house would be clean, right? The laundry would be done and when supper was ready you never had to go get it, John would bring it to you while you sat on the couch and watched TV. You have no idea how good of a thing you had. John came to me for advice on how to save the marriage. He honestly wanted it to work. Hell, y’all have been married for 17 years and you have two kids, it is a long time in a person’s life to just throw it away.” Tanji was getting extremely mad at this point, all she could see was red. This has been a long time coming and she was definitely ready for it.

“I may not have had the best marriage but you have no right coming into my marriage and taking my husband from his children.” Stephanie was extremely upset at this point. She had gone past the point of crying and was more towards the pissed off end.

“I do not have to justify my actions with you, Stephanie. I just have one question for you and then I am going to hang up the phone because I have nothing else to say to you. Did you even think of the marriages that you have damaged due to all of the time that you have spent on your back in the backseat of a car? The first thing you need to learn about marriage is to keep YOUR legs closed!! “ Tanji slams the phone down and heads outside to smoke a cigarette to regain her composure.

Should she feel guilty about what she is doing with John? She has always justified her action with what she is doing because of what Stephanie has done. Does that make it right? Well, that will be a decision to make on her next cigarette break, right now she needs to get back inside with John and her children.

By the Time...

By the time you read this~

~I will have five more gray hairs sprouting from my balding head.

~You will have lied about her for the 20th time.

~The geese will have flown South and returned home eight times.

~The car will have been in the repair shop for the third time for the exact sam problem.

~I will have forgiven you for the last time.

~The house will be empty and you will have nothing left.

A Trip Home

A Trip Home
I had heard about this place before but I have never been here. Groom, Texas is a small town of only 568 people. If you weren’t looking for this town you would drive by it without even noticing it. The one thing that you will notice and the reason I am here is because of the huge cross in the middle of a farm field. As I park my car and get out I notice all of the people that are here in awe of what we see.

“Can you believe how huge this cross is?” a local farmer by the name of Joe asked me.

“I had no idea it was so big. It is amazing. How long has it been here?” I asked him.

“Some local welders built it and installed it back in 1995,” he explained. “We take great pride in this cross and all the sculptures that are here with it. We really feel as if Jesus is here with us each and every day. We are able to reach so many people just out of simple curiosity of seeing the 2nd largest cross in the Western Hemisphere. When they arrive they don’t expect to see an empty tomb or the crosses on Calvary.”

“I can feel the presence of God, it is so wonderful. You can tell how much thought and care were put into the cross and all of these sculptures. I think that my favorite one is the one of Jesus holding the very tiny infant in his hands. It reminds me of the scripture tell us that God knew us before He formed us in our mother’s womb,” I told him. “By Him telling us this it proves that there are no mistakes and that everyone is made for a reason. “

“Well, I better get on back to cleaning the sculptures and getting those darn weeds outta here. You have a good day and enjoy your time here.”

“Thank you so very much.” I responded. As Joe was walking off all I can do is just sit and relish in the love I can feel from God as I sit here in complete and total comfort.