Narration and Scene

Narration

I was sitting at the kitchen table helping my oldest son with his homework. I was trying to explain to him how to do the math homework and I could just see the tears coming up in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he was frustrated because the assignment was so difficult. He just broke down in tears and I could see all of the frustration come out of him. It took a moment for him to calm down but once he did then we were able to continue with his homework. I hate seeing him so upset over math. I think that some of this has to do with the fact that we moved to Minnesota half way through his second grade year. The schools in Minnesota are above the schools in Texas and I think that it was a disadvantage for Tyler because he has not been able to catch up to where he should be. By the end of the twenty minutes we had completed Tyler’s homework. He told me that it made more sense to him after we worked through it.

Pure Scene

“Okay Tyler, let’s get your homework done. Tell me how you did number one.” I asked.

“I added 4 plus 6, 8 plus 3, and 8 plus 2.” He said.

“So what is the final answer?” I asked him.

“32, I guess? I don’t know!!!!” he exclaimed.

“What is the matter? Why are you crying and getting so upset about this?” I asked him.

“I am so frustrated. I don’t understand this stuff and it is so hard!!” he exclaimed.

“Calm down, Tyler. This crying is only going to get you more upset. Just take a few deep breaths and calm down. I know that this is hard and I am here to help you understand it and get it completed. It will take some time but we will get this so you can understand it.” I explained to him.

“Okay, I am ready to finish. After I am done can I go outside and play?” he asked.

“First, let’s focus on the homework and then we can think about what to do next when we are done with the homework.” I said.

“Okay, so the answer for this one is 31, right?” he asked.

“Correct, see if you just take your time and work through the problem you can get to the correct answer.” I said.

“Thanks, I think I definitely understand it better now that we have worked through it.” He said.

Scene and Narration

It was around 4:00 when we were finally able to sit down and get out the homework, that Tyler brought home, and tackle it as if we were the best homework workers in the world. Tyler has had a problem with math ever since we moved to Minnesota. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we moved half-way through his second grade year and the teaching method is completely different than in Texas. Sitting down to do math homework, for Tyler, is like torture for him. I think that he would rather have his teeth pulled by pliers without Novocain.

“Okay Tyler, let’s get your homework done. Tell me how you did number one.” I asked. I was eager to find out if all the extra work we had done at home and at school was really working. I wondered if he was making any progress. As his mother I hate to see him struggle and I just wish that I could just give him the answers and he would automatically know what to do. Unfortunately, it does not work that way.

“I added 4 plus 6, 8 plus 3, and 8 plus 2.” He said. So far he had it right. He knew what function to do and he knew what numbers to put together so I was beginning to feel hopeful that we were on the right track.

“So what is the final answer?” I asked him. I was sitting on pins and needles in anticipation of the answer.

“32, I guess? I don’t know!!!!” he exclaimed. He was so upset. You could see the frustration all over his face. I could see the tears building up in his eyes. He was on the verge of a total and complete breakdown. He finally let the tears roll down his face as if the gates of Niagara Falls had broken open.

“What is the matter? Why are you crying and getting so upset about this?” I asked him. I was getting frustrated with his reaction to his math. I know that he knows the answers but he doesn’t try he just guesses and hopes that the answer is right. When the answer is wrong he gets frustrated and mad at himself for getting the incorrect answer.

“I am so frustrated. I don’t understand this stuff and it is so hard!!” he exclaimed. He kept crying and sobbing. He was so upset over the math. Tyler has always been a bright child. When he was in pre-K and kindergarten his teachers told me that when he was old enough he needed to be tested for the gifted and talented program. Now that he is in school here he is struggling in math and reading and his frustration gets me frustrated. I begin to wonder if I made the right choice moving my children 1,200 miles to Minnesota.

“Calm down, Tyler. This crying is only going to get you more upset. Just take a few deep breaths and calm down. I know that this is hard and I am here to help you understand it and get it completed. It will take some time but we will get this so you can understand it.” I explained to him. I try to be as patient with him and let him know that I am there to help him as much as I can so that he can learn as much as he can.

After about a ten minute break Tyler was able to regain his composure and get his frustration under control. “Okay, I am ready to finish. After I am done can I go outside and play?” he asked. He always has a tendency to try and think of things to do next or things that are out of his control. A lot of this has to do with his ADHD and his inability to stay focused for a long period of time.

“First, let’s focus on the homework and then we can think about what to do next when we are done with the homework.” I said. We walked through the problem step-by-step and I showed him where he had made the mistake. It is so nice to see him learning and the light coming on when he figures out the problem.

“Okay, so the answer for this one is 31, right?” he asked.

“Correct, see if you just take your time and work through the problem you can get to the correct answer.” I said. I knew that he could do this. He just has to put his mind to it and he can do anything that he wants.

“Thanks, I think I definitely understand it better now that we have worked through it.” He said. It was such a relief to see the tension and frustration leave his face.
When we were done he put everything in his backpack and hurried outside to play. He was a kid again without any stress or worries or feelings of inferiorority. I just hope that by the end of this school year he has progressed enough to not fall behind in the fifth grade.